From Bitter to Sweet
One must eat bitter to taste sweet, a Chinese proverb that the book To Live perfectly exemplifies. We see a family go from a life in high society to complete abject poverty, to mention a more crude saying without a pot to piss in. An immense change that few can come back from and fewer do in the other direction, but this isn’t about them this is about how the bitterness makes the sweetness sweeter. Now let us see how one can go from having the world as their oyster to being the oyster with a piece of sand in its mouth.
Fugui is born into nobility, those around the village bow to him and he can do anything he pleases. This of course does not last, he gambles away his land and money until he can no longer even live in his home. His father in law takes back his wife and he gets a taste of bitterness, his sweet daughter Fengxia is the sweetest thing during this period and she tells him that her mother will come back. When she does and he meets his son he finds a bit of sweetness not that it lasts, he is then taken into a war unwillingly, during which his mother dies and his daughter becomes mute. Another taste of the bitterness and the cycle continues until it is only him and the other Fugui and ox.
Fugui starts his life in comfort and with no cares, he needn’t even walk anywhere. Compared to others he lives like royalty and I have never known this feeling. When I was born it was much less like royalty that I lived, an oops baby, no matter how many times your family says God wanted you. The truth is that I was an accident and Fugui was wanted, a son for a family, and I, an accidental child meeting in suffering. For our errors and emotions are what makes us human, the circumstances of our birth should be considered irrelevant for it is what we do with the gift of life that determines who we are, as the wise Mewtwo says.
In my seventeen years of life very little of my suffering has actually been caused by myself, whereas we can trace Fugui’s life backwards and see the cause and effect of his actions. Since I am still a child I have not made many choices like Fugui has and the ones I have are still small. Choosing to audition for a play is miniscule compared to gambling away your family home after all. But the suffering I have caused myself was entirely mental, when I moved here I was very angry and depressed, I hid away and my life felt completely out of my control. I turned my pain inwards and caused myself harm but Fugui turned his suffering outwards and hurt his family. While both are bad, Fugui turning his rage outside is easier to see, if there are no obvious scars then it is easy to miss the storm under the skin.
They say, to error is human but I believe a more accurate answer would be to suffer is human, we all meet with suffering and it shapes us. If you feel that you have never met with intense suffering then be prepared for a tidal wave.
