In the novel, One Part Woman, Permumal Murugan gives insight to what outsiders such as myself might see as bizarre rituals and beliefs. Mostly, this novel talks about society’s obsession with having children and the struggle of one couple who has been unable to conceive for the twelve years that they have been married. The antagonists of the story, Kali and Ponna, take on may rituals and prayers in hopes the gods will bless them with a child. Together, they face social exclusion, family clashes, and interpersonal conflict. Kali ́s conflict stems from the fact that he is just fine with only having Ponna by his side; he does not really care if they conceive a child or not at the beginning. Towards the end, however, the social pressures grow too much and he begins to give in. I identify with Kali ́s interpersonal conflict the most because I am the exact same way. I may have my mind set on doing one thing, but after hearing something time and time again, it does make me change my mind or at least heavily consider changing my mind. 

̈ ̈Yes, ma´am.¨

I can recall a time a couple of months ago where I was speaking to my parents about my future plans for college. I had told them that my number one college was Western Colorado University. Seeing as this university is about five hours away, my parents were not very happy that it was my first choice. Everyday after that they would mention the school that my brother is currently attending, Regis University. They would make small remarks here and there throughout any conversation I would have with them, telling me things such as ̈you should go to Regis ̈ or ̈Regis is a really good school, you know ̈ or even ̈if you go to Regis, we know you’re in a safe place and we know your brother is there to protect you and keep an eye on you.¨ Sometimes they’ll even make remarks about the school that I want to attend and make me feel bad for not committing to Regis. They tell me ̈You really must hate us if you want to move that far away ̈ or ̈If you go that far, we won’t help you out with the costs.̈ For a while, those comments didn’t get to me, but as of a couple of weeks ago, they began to creep into my skin and stick to my mind. Up until that point, I had only known to always say ¨Yes, ma ́am ̈ to my mother. I know that I will never fully understand until I am a parent myself, but I do understand that sometimes they do just want what they think is best for their kids. While I do understand them wanting me to be close and protected, I also want to have the full college experience of being away from home and struggling. I don’t want to feel as though I have my brother looming over my shoulder or like I can go home anytime I want to because it is so close. I also don’t believe it is fair to me that instead of supporting me, they are kind of pressuring me into choosing that university because they know I will need some type of financial support or because they know I never want to make anyone feel bad or unloved. I believe this is similar to the conflict Kali had when it came to his marriage with Ponna and his relationship with his mother. 

̈ ̈Yes, ma´am.¨ 

Kali is a very understanding man who adores Ponna wholeheartedly. For the past twelve years, he has been content with living his life with just her in it. He is caught in the middle, however, in regards to his own feelings and the rest of the society around him, including Ponna. Throughout most of the novel, he is pressured into feeling as though having a child is the only thing that will keep his marriage from crumbling. His faith is what keeps him going, but also becomes a reason for his downfall. Towards the beginning of the book, his faith is kept close; he prays, ̈God please bless us this time. Make it happen somehow,¨ (Murugan 10). At this point, there had been talks about him or Ponna having a second marriage, but both parties were not in agreement. Having many people in his life telling him what to do, such as both of their parents and his grandmother, put a lot of stress on Kali ́s shoulders. Murugan writes ̈But until the day she dies, Kali ́s grandmother was worried about the perpetuation of her lineage. She sent the young couple to any temple festival anywhere, saying, ́Go and beg for god’s mercy.´¨ (24). This reminds me a lot about the Mexican culture I grew up in. You listen to your elders and obey your parents even in adulthood. For girls, it’s even worse, since they have a ́tighter leash ́ around their necks. For them, they must obey their parents until they are married, and even then, there’s no lack of unsolicited advice after they are married. Kali also feels as though everyone is hypocritical, intervening in everyone else’s business even though they probably have things going on in their lives that are equivalent or even worse to what that one person they are scrutinizing is going through. Murugan states ̈It annoyed Kali that though they might have a million things wrong in their own lives, people found great pleasure in poking and prodding other peopleś miseries,¨ (19). Although it is his culture that everybody kind of knows everybodyś business, it does bother him that people pry and persist so much. The constant intrusive behavior coming from both sides of the family and even strangers has caused a dent within his marriage. Another thing that reminds me of my family and my situation is when Kali is talking to his mother. She cannot understand why he is opposed to a second marriage and to letting Ponna attend the Chariot Festival. Kali ́s mother says, ̈You have said no to it several times. Ponna ́s parents are fine with the idea. If we are a little forceful, even Ponna will say yes. But you refuse. I don’t understand why,¨ (Murugan 95). My parents feel the same way when it comes to my college choice. They can’t seem to understand how they had two completely different children. My brother is more of the type of person to cave in right away to my parent ́s requests. Just like Kali ́s mother, they are confused as to why I refuse to give in to what they think is best for me.  

̈ ̈Yes, ma´am.¨

 

Towards the end of the novel, Ponna ́s brother creates a plan to sort of trick Kali into changing the answer he gave Ponna regarding the festival. She attends the festival thinking he is okay with it and meets her god. When Kali wakes up in the morning, he realizes what has happened and feels betrayed. The world around him, his family, and even Ponna herself invaded his thoughts so much that it ultimately led to what he believed to be a betrayal and the cause of his marriage ́s demise. I believe that ́s what will happen to me if I eventually give in to what my parents want instead of following my heart. I know that listening to them will not only crush my dreams, but it will make me feel trapped and not in control of my life. I refuse to be controlled, even if that means not having the support of my family. I know most people would not be able to say that, but I believe that I must make myself happy and make sure I am straight before I help anyone else. Just like when you are aboard an aircraft and they tell you to place the mask on yourself first in case of an emergency. 

̈ ̈No, ma´am.¨